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  1. Scandal
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Lyrics

buck tooth johny sent a letter to the globe, said the governor’s at it again
said i saw him twice last week with his girl, monique, while his wife’s at the doc's getting thin
he’s in league with the mob, kick backs every job, got’em all out in charge of the dig
and his drug cartel, it’s sure doin well, runs through the priests and the pigs
if you don’t print my story i’ll go somewhere else with all of the things i saw
it’s a scandal, a razzle dazz, a regular coup d'etat.

well jean at the globe got johny's letter and her mouth puckered up at the seams
you see stories this huge set the standard for news...she’d be livin out her hopes and her dreams
she sent it right down to print where a mole named clint soaked it in through his bloodshot eyes
he called joe from mcnews who pissed in his shoes and sent it out over the wire
by four o’clock that afternoon everybody had a flappin jaw.
it’s a scandal, a razzle dazz, a regular coup d'etat.

me and the boys were down at sully's drinkin after a day in the pits
mcnews on the screen our foreman dean shouts out "ain’t that the gov in the mix?
hey, i voted for that lousy SOB!" and we all shouted "can the clown!"
in bars and homes all around all the neighboring towns the same ugly scene went down
we better march on the capitol show’em we’re not as dumb as they think we are
it’s a scandal, a razzle dazz, a regular coup d'etat.

the governor stood in his office, white teeth, silk suit, looking down at the scene on the street
we’d all come out holding signs and shouting, "the governor’s a crook and a cheat"
just then a lacky burst in with a desperate grin, said, "what we gonna do now, chief?"
the gov just lit up a pipe, said, "it’ll be alright, we’ll call the national party for relief
in two weeks time they’ll have it all cleaned up without so much as a hem or haw"
it’s a scandal, a razzle dazz, a regular coup d'etat.

the next day flew by the party thugs arrived with the wrists handcuffed to their files
they said, "we gotta three prong attack to get you back on track" and the gov flashed a glistening smile
"first we'll slander this buck toothed johny guy, while you roll out a tax cut plan,
then we’ll redistrict just so, hardly no one will know but we’ll never lose elections again
meanwhile you better toe the party line, or by next years time you’ll be a community professor at law"
it’s a scandal, a razzle dazz, a regular coup d'etat.

now as some may have guessed and others detest this story putters out like a match
we all had to gulp shoveled talk show pulp down the sordid, proverbial hatch
buck tooth johny who started it all got a dose of the old 'what for'
they said they caught him on line committing the crime of consorting with terrorists and whores
but he just signed a deal on a book called "squeal", it'll be featured on oprah this fall
it’s a scandal, a razzle dazz, a regular coup d'etat.

meanwhile joe from mcnews won a pulitzer for his outstanding work in the field
to keep his reputation clean he had to pay off jean signed her up to a six figure deal
presidential run for the gov, guess he proved to the thugs he could sure play a mean game of ball
and for those that ain't rich, we're still back in the pits, overwhelmed by the blur of it all
yeah we'll get fifty bucks back off of next year's taxes, spend it on whiskey and chaw
meanwhile the schools downtown get their budgets cut down, ripped out with a serpent like claw
and if you're lookin for truth, well you can set up a booth, peddle anything that cuts like a saw
it’s a scandal, a razzle dazz, a regular coup d'etat.
it's a back door deal, it's a flim flam, it stinks of that je ne sais quois
it's a scandal